Alligator Pie

Alligator Pie

ALLIGATOR PIE

the poems were written by DENNIS LEE

the pictures were drawn by FRANK NEWFELD

Dedication

for Kevyn and Hilary

Contents

Cover

Title Page

Dedication

Alligator Pie

Wiggle to the Laundromat

Singa Songa

Bouncing Song

Street Song

Mumbo, Jumbo

Willoughby Wallaby Woo

Lying on Things

Rattlesnake Skipping Song

Bed Song

In Kamloops

Billy Batter

Ookpik

Bump on Your Thumb

The Special Person

Like a Giant in a Towel

Flying Out of Holes

William Lyon Mackenzie King

Tony Baloney

Skyscraper

Tricking

I Found a Silver Dollar

If You Should Meet

Higgledy Piggledy

Thinking in Bed

Nicholas Grouch

Psychapoo

On Tuesdays I Polish My Uncle

The Fishes of Kempenfelt Bay

Kahshe or Chicoutimi

Tongue Twister

The Hockey Game

Peter Rabbit

The Friends

The Sitter and the Butter and the Better Batter Fritter

Windshield Wipers

A Postlude

How Do You Illustrate Poems That Don’t Need Pictures?

About the Authors

Copyright

About the Publisher

Alligator Pie

Alligator pie, alligator pie,

If I don’t get some I think I’m gonna die.

Give away the green grass, give away the sky,

But don’t give away my alligator pie.

Alligator stew, alligator stew,

If I don’t get some I don’t know what I’ll do.

Give away my furry hat, give away my shoe,

But don’t give away my alligator stew.

Alligator soup, alligator soup,

If I don’t get some I think I’m gonna droop.

Give away my hockey-stick, give away my hoop,

But don’t give away my alligator soup.

Wiggle to the Laundromat

Wiggle to the laundromat,

Waggle to the sea;

Skip to Casa Loma

And you can’t catch me!

Singa Songa

Singa songa sea

I’ve got you by the knee.

Singa songa sand

I’ve got you by the hand.

Singa songa snail

I’ve got you by the tail.

Singa songa seat

And it’s time to eat!

Bouncing Song

Hambone, jawbone, mulligatawney stew,

Pork chop, lamb chop, cold homebrew.

Licorice sticks and popsicles, ice cream pie:

Strawberry, chocolate, vanilla!!!

Street Song

Sidewalk,

Hippity hop,

Step on a crack

Or you can’t come back.

Skippity one,

Skippity two,

Wait for the mailman

And kick off your shoe.

Mumbo, Jumbo

Mumbo Jumbo

Christopher Colombo

I’m sitting on the sidewalk

Chewing bubble gumbo.

I think I’ll catch a WHALE…

I think I’ll catch a snail…

I think I’ll sit around awhile

Twiddling my thumbo.

Willoughby Wallaby Woo

Willoughby, wallaby, woo.

I don’t know what to do.

Willoughby, wallaby, wee.

An elephant sat on me.

Willoughby, wallaby, wash.

I’m feeling kind of squash.

Willoughby, wallaby, woo.

And I don’t know what to do.

Lying on Things

After it snows

I go and lie on things.

I lie on my back

And make snow-angel wings.

I lie on my front

And powder-puff my nose.

I always lie on things

Right after it snows.

Rattlesnake Skipping Song

Mississauga rattlesnakes

Eat brown bread.

Mississauga rattlesnakes

Fall down dead.

If you catch a caterpillar

Feed him apple juice;

But if you catch a rattlesnake

Turn him loose!

Bed Song

Yonge Street, Bloor Street,

Queen Street, King:

Catch an itchy monkey

With a piece of string.

Eaton’s, and Simpson’s,

And Honest Ed’s:

Give him his pyjama pants

And throw him into beds!

In Kamloops

In Kamloops

I’ll eat your boots.

In the Gatineaus

I’ll eat your toes.

In Napanee

I’ll eat your knee.

In Winnipeg

I’ll eat your leg.

In Charlottetown

I’ll eat your gown.

In Crysler’s Farm

I’ll eat your arm.

In Aklavik

I’ll eat your neck.

In Red Deer

I’ll eat your ear.

In Trois Rivières

I’ll eat your hair.

In Kitimat

I’ll eat your hat.

And I’ll eat your nose

And I’ll eat your toes

In Medicine Hat and

Moose Jaw.

Billy Batter

Billy Batter,

What’s the matter?

How come you’re so sad?

I lost my cat

In the laundromat,

And a dragon ran off with my dad,

My dad—

A dragon ran off with my dad!

Billy Batter,

What’s the matter?

How come you’re so glum?

I ripped my jeans

On the coke machine,

And a monster ran off with my mum,

My mum—

A monster ran off with my mum!

Billy Batter,

Now you’re better—

Happy as a tack!

The dragon’s gone

To Saskatchewan;

The monster fell

In a wishing-well;

The cat showed up

With a new-born pup;

I fixed the rips

With potato chips,

And my dad and my mum came back,

Came back—

My dad and my mum came back!

Ookpik

An Ookpik is nothing but hair.

If you shave him, he isn’t there.

He’s never locked in the zoo.

He lives in a warm igloo.

He can whistle and dance on the walls.

He can dance on Niagara Falls.

He has nothing at all on his mind.

If you scratch him, he wags his behind.

He dances from morning to night.

Then he blinks. That turns out the light.

Bump on Your Thumb

Who shall be king of the little kids’ swing?

Jimmy’s the king of the little kids’ swing

With a bump on your thumb

And a thump on your bum

And tickle my tum in Toronto.

Who shall see sta
rs on the climbing bars?

Jimmy sees stars on the climbing bars

With a bump on your thumb

And a thump on your bum

And tickle my tum in Toronto.

And who shall come home with the night for his throne?

Jimmy’s come home with the night for his throne

With a bump on your thumb

And a thump on your bum

And tickle my tum in Toronto.

The Special Person

I’ve got a Special Person

At my day-care, where I’m in.

Her name is Mrs. Something

But we mostly call her Lynn.

’Cause Lynn’s the one that shows you

How to Squish a paper cup.

And Lynn’s the one that smells good

When you make her pick you up.

She smells good when she picks you up.

She knows alot of stories

And she reads them off by heart.

There’s one about a Bear, but I

Forget the other part.

She bit me on my knee once, ’cause I

Said she couldn’t scream,

And then I sent her in the hall,

And then we had Ice Cream.

I guess I’m going to marry Lynn

When I get three or four,

And Lynn can have my Crib, or else

She’ll maybe sleep next door,

’Cause Jamie wants to marry Lynn

And live here too, he said.

(I guess he’ll have to come, but he’s

Too Little for a bed.)

Like a Giant in a Towel

When the wind is blowing hard

Like a giant in the yard,

I’m glad my bed is warm;

I’m glad my bed is warm.

When the rain begins to rain

Like a giant with a pain,

I’m glad my bed is warm;

I’m glad my bed is warm.

When the snowstorm starts to howl

Like a giant in a towel,

I’m glad my bed is warm;

I’m glad my bed is warm.

And when the giants realize

That no one’s scared of their disguise,

They go to bed and close their eyes—

They’re glad their beds are warm;

They’re glad their beds are warm.

Flying Out of Holes

Mr. Mole. Mr. Mole! MR. MOLE!!!

Come quick. I’m stuck in a hole.

Burrow along with your snout.

I’m stuck and I can’t get out.

Push me and pull me. I’ll pop

Straight up in the air, kerplop!

Aren’t you going to come,

You no-good burrowing bum?

Never mind. I’m growing wings

To fly out of holes and things.

Now I’m flying straight up in the air.

When you get here, I’ll land on your hair.

I flew right out of that hole.

Goodbye! Goodbye, Mr. Mole.

William Lyon Mackenzie King

William Lyon Mackenzie King

Sat in the middle & played with string

And he loved his mother like anything—

William Lyon Mackenzie King.

Tony Baloney

Tony Baloney is fibbing again—

Look at him wiggle and try to pretend.

Tony Baloney is telling a lie:

Phony old Tony Baloney, goodbye!

Skyscraper

Skyscraper, skyscraper,

Scrape me some sky:

Tickle the sun

While the stars go by.

Tickle the stars

While the sun’s climbing high,

Then skyscraper, skyscraper

Scrape me some sky.

Tricking

When they bring me a plate

Full of stuff that I hate,

Like spinach and turnips and guck,

I sit very straight

And I look at the plate

And I quietly say to it: “YUCK!”

Little kids bawl

’Cause I used to be small,

And I threw it all over the tray.

But now I am three

And I’m much more like me—

I yuck till they take it away.

But sometimes my dad

Gets terriffickly mad,

And he says, “Don’t you drink from that cup!”

But he can’t say it right

’Cause he’s not very bright—

So I trick him and drink it all up!

Then he gets up and roars;

He stomps on the floor

And he hollers, “I warn you, don’t eat!!”

He counts up to ten

And I trick him again:

I practically finish the meat.

Then I start on the guck

And my daddy goes “Yuck!”

And he scrunches his eyes till they hurt.

So I shovel it in

And he grins a big grin.

And then we have dessert.

I Found a Silver Dollar

I found a silver dollar,

But I had to pay the rent.

I found an alligator

But his steering-wheel was bent.

I found a little monkey,

So I took him to the zoo.

Then I found a sticky kiss and so

I brought it home to you.

If You Should Meet

If you should meet a grundiboob,

Comfort him with sugar cubes.

Then send him on his way again

With feather beds, in case of rain.

If you meet him going out

Place a doughnut on his snout.

But if you meet him coming back,

Give his nose a mighty whack.

And if you meet a potamus,

Sleeping on a cotamus,

Do not sing or talkamus,

But take him for a walkamus.

If you should meet a crankabeast,

Be sure his forehead isn’t creased;

Then pat him gently on his heads

And tuck him quickly into beds.

Higgledy Piggledy

Higgledy piggledy

Wiggledy wump,

I met a man

Who caught a mump:

With his left cheek lumpy

And his right cheek bumpy—

Higgledy piggledy

Wiggledy wump.

Higgledy piggledy

Sniggledy sneezle,

I met a man

Who caught a measle:

With his chest all dots

And his face all spots—

Higgledy piggledy

Sniggledy sneezle.

Thinking in Bed

I’m thinking in bed,

’Cause I can’t get out

Till I learn how to think

What I’m thinking about;

What I’m thinking about

Is a person to be—

A sort of a person

Who feels like me.

I might still be Alice,

Excepting I’m not.

And Snoopy is super,

But not when it’s hot;

I couldn’t be Piglet,

I don’t think I’m Pooh,

I know I’m not Daddy

And I can’t be you.

My breakfast is waiting.

My clothes are all out,

But what was that thing

I was thinking about?

I’ll never get up

If I lie here all day;

But I still haven’t thought,

So I’ll just have to stay.

If I was a Grinch

I expect I would know.

I might have been Batman,

But I don’t think so.

There’s so many people

I don’t seem to be—

I guess I’ll just have to

Get up and be me.

Nicholas Grouch

Nicholas Grouch

Has filled his pouch

With garbage lids and bears.

When he gets home

His wife will groan

And throw him down the stairs.

Nicholas Grouch

Has filled his pouch

With wet potato peelings.

When he gets back

His wife will yack

And hang him up on the ceiling.

Nicholas Grouch

Has filled his pouch

With licorice sticks and toffee.

When he gets in

His wife will grin

And give him a cup of coffee.

Psychapoo

Psychapoo,

The silly goose,

Brushed his teeth

With apple juice.

Psychapoo,

The melon-head,

Rode his bicycle

In bed.

His mother said,

“Sit down and eat!”

He swallowed the plate

And left the meat.

His father asked him,

“Can’t you hear?”

He had a carrot

In his ear.

He met a dog

And shook its tail,

Took a bath

And caught a whale,

Put it in his

Piggy bank,

Said, “I think I’ll

Call it Frank.”

His brother asked him,

“Can’t you see?”

He drank his hair

And combed his tea.

He took a trip

To Newfoundland,

Walking on water

And swimming on land

And every time

He heard a shout,

He took his pencil

And rubbed it out.

It isn’t me,

It isn’t you,

It’s nutty, mutty

Psychapoo.

On Tuesdays I Polish My Uncle

I went to play in the park.

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