The Cat and the Wizard Read online

  The Cat and the Wizard

  Dennis Lee

  Illustrations by Gillian Johnson

  To Max

  —GJ

  Contents

  Cover

  Title Page

  Start Reading

  Copyright

  About the Author

  About the Publisher

  A senior wizard

  Of high degree

  With a special diploma

  In wizardry

  Is trudging along

  At the top of the street

  With a scowl on his face

  And a pain in his feet.

  A beard, a bundle,

  A right-angle stoop,

  And a hand-me-down coat

  Embroidered with soup,

  A halo of smoke

  And a sputtery sound—

  The only real magic

  Magician around.

  But nobody nowadays

  Welcomes a wizard:

  They’ll take in a spaniel,

  Make room for a lizard—

  But show them a conjurer

  Still on the ball,

  And nobody wants him

  Or needs him at all.

  His bundle is bulging

  With rabbits and string,

  And a sort of machine

  That he’s teaching to sing,

  And a clock, and a monkey

  That stands on its head,

  And a mixture for turning

  Pure gold into lead.

  He carries a bird’s nest

  That came from the Ark;

  He knows how to tickle

  A fish in the dark;

  He can count up by tens

  To a million and three—

  But he can’t find a home

  For his wizardry.

  For nobody, nowadays,

  Welcomes a wizard;

  They’ll drool at a goldfish,

  Repaint for a lizard,

  But show them a magus

  Who knows his stuff—

  They can’t slam their latches down

  Quickly enough!

  In Casa Loma

  Lives a cat

  With a jet-black coat

  And a spiffy hat,

  And every day

  At half past four

  She sets the table

  For twelve or more.

  The spoons parade

  Beside each plate;

  She pours the wine,

  She serves the steak,

  And Shreddies, and turnips,

  And beer in a dish,

  Though all she can stomach

  Is cold tuna fish.

  But a cat is a cat

  In a castle or no,

  And people are people

  Wherever you go.

  Then she paces about

  In the big dining hall,

  Waiting and waiting

  For someone to call

  Who won’t be too snooty

  For dinner and chat

  At the home of a highly

  Hospitable cat.

  And every evening

  At half past eight,

  She throws out the dinner,

  And locks the gate.

  And every night,

  At half past ten,

  She climbs up to bed

  By herself, again.

  For a cat is a cat

  In a castle or no,

  And people are people

  Wherever you go.

  One day they meet

  In a laundromat,

  The lonesome wizard,

  The coal-black cat.

  And chatting away

  In the clammy air,

  They find they both like

  Solitaire,

  And merry-go-rounds,

  And candle-light,

  And spooky yarns

  That turn out right.

  They stroll together

  Chatting still

  To Casa Loma

  On the hill

  And there the cat

  Invites her friend

  To share a bite,

  If he’ll condescend;

  And yes, the wizard

  Thinks he might—

  But just for a jiffy

  And one quick bite.

  An hour goes by

  Like a silver skate.

  The wizard moves

  From plate to plate.

  Two hours go by,

  Like shooting stars.

  The cat produces

  Big cigars

  And there in the darkening

  Room they sit,

  A cat and a wizard,

  Candle-lit.

  At last the wizard

  Takes the pack

  From his creaking, reeking,

  Rickety back.

  He sets it down

  With a little shrug,

  And pulls a rabbit

  From under the rug.

  And before you can blink

  He’s clapping his hands,

  And there in the doorway

  A peacock stands!

  Now he’s setting the monkey

  Upon its head,

  He’s turning the silverware

  Into lead,

  And counting by tens

  From a hundred to four

  And making a waterfall

  Start from the floor,

  And juggling a turnip,

  A plate and a dish,

  And turning them all

  Into fresh tuna fish.

  The cat is ecstatic!

  She chortles, she sails

  From the roof to the floor

  On the banister rails,

  And soon the whole castle

  Is whizzing with things:

  With sparklers and flautists

  And butterflies’ wings,

  And all through the night

  The party goes on—

  Till it stops in a trice

  At the crack of dawn,

  And the wizard installs

  His pack in a drawer,

  While the cat tidies up

  The living-room floor.

  And as the sky

  Is growing red,

  They tiptoe up

  The stairs to bed.

  The wizard’s snore

  Is rather weird;

  The cat is snuggled

  In his beard—

  Dreaming of tuna fish

  End to end,

  And rabbits, and having

  A brand-new friend.

  Perhaps you wonder

  How I know

  A cat and a wizard

  Can carry on so?

  Well: if some day

  You chance to light

  On Casa Loma

  Late at night,

  Go up to the window,

  Peek inside,

  And then you’ll see

  I haven’t lied.

  For round & round

  The rabbits dance,

  The moon is high

  And they don’t wear pants;

  The tuna fish

  Patrol the hall,

  The butterflies swim

  In the waterfall,

  And high and low

  With a hullaballoo

  The castle whirls

  Like a tipsy zoo!

  And in the corner,

  If you peer,

  Two other figures

  May appear.

  One is dressed

  In a spiffy hat:

  The queen of the castle,

  The jet-black cat.

  The other’s a wizard

  Of high degree.

  The wizard is grinning.

  The wizard i
s me.

  About the Author

  Dennis Lee is the author of such timeless collections as Alligator Pie, Garbage Delight, Bubblegum Delicious, and The Ice Cream Store. He wrote the song lyrics for Jim Henson’s TV series Fraggle Rock, and he was Toronto’s first poet laureate.

  Gillian Johnson is the acclaimed illustrator of My Sister Gracie, Saranohair, the Monster Hospital series, the Thora series, and Roos in Shoes by Tom Keneally. She grew up in Winnipeg and now lives with her family in Oxford, England.

  Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins author.

  Copyright

  Text copyright © 2001 by Dennis Lee

  Illustrations copyright © 2001 by Gillian Johnson

  All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

  EPub Edition © JANUARY 2013 ISBN: 978-1-443-41177-6

  Published by HarperCollins Publishers Ltd

  Originally published by Key Porter Books in a hardcover edition: 2001. First published by HarperCollins Publishers Ltd in this hardcover edition: 2013.

  No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews.

  HarperCollins Publishers Ltd

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  M4W 1A8

  www.harpercollins.ca

  Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in

  Publication information is available upon request.

  ISBN 978-1-44341-175-2

  An earlier version of this poem appeared in Nicholas Knock and Other People.

  Design: Peter Maher

  About the Publisher

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  Dennis Lee, The Cat and the Wizard

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